I May Hate Myself In the Morning
by JumpForJoy22
Summary: SongFic. EO. Elliot's heart is broken by Olivia. After months, they finally talk about it. STRONG T RATING! The song is by Lee Ann Womack. R&R PLEASE!


**The song is 'I may hate myself in the morning' by: Lee Ann Womack. I heard it on YouTube and had to write and EO about it. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy it and please review!**

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DISCLAIMER: As jealous as I am, Lee Ann Womack owns the song and Dick Wolf owns the characters. All I have is my imagination.**

**Story time :D Please review!**

Elliot was sitting in his empty apartment. It had been months since Olivia left him. After six months of pure heaven, she just decided to up and leave. She needed time on her own, or so she claimed. Something didn't feel right but every time Elliot would ask her about it, she'd avoid it.

Eventually, the tension between the two had boiled over and Olivia decided to transfer to computer crimes. Elliot was stuck, and after a week of pleading, he gave up. Still, five months later, Elliot hadn't moved on. There was no other woman, no other friends, no nothing.

Tonight was no different than most nights, he was sitting with a twelve pack of beer and some sort of hard liquor. Most nights, the painful memories of Olivia kept him up and this was the only way he'd get a good night of sleep. Elliot reached for the bottle of Jack Daniel's, the alcohol no longer phased him. He took it down so well, fraternity boys everywhere would be jealous.

Tonight, he wasn't going numb. The more he would drink, the more he thought of Olivia. Lately this had been happening even more frequently. He hadn't spoken to or seen Olivia in nearly three months. He thought it would be too painful to see her but it was even more painful not too see her. Subconsciously, Elliot reached for his cell phone and hit speed dial one. After two rings a female voice answered.

"Elliot." The voice belonged to Olivia. He'd heard the voice plenty of times in his dreams but now he had no clue what to say. "Elliot!"

"Sorry Olivia. This was a mistake." Elliot almost closed his phone until he heard a voice respond.

"Wait Elliot." Elliot sensed desperation in Olivia's voice. He'd only heard her like this a handful of times in the years they'd known each other. "How have you been?"

"Screwed up Liv. How about you?" Elliot threw out the insult. He wanted her to know how much she had hurt him.

"Where are you? I need to see you." Olivia sounded scared, Elliot wasn't sure if she was worried or if the alcohol in his system let him hear what he wanted.

"No you don't. You don't need to see me like this." There was a silence which enveloped both of them.

"Elliot, I want to see you." Olivia's voice felt calm and safe. She still knew exactly how to get to him, even after five months.

"I'm at home." Elliot whispered into the phone.

"I'll see you in twenty minutes." Olivia flipped her phone shut. Elliot set his phone down on his coffee table. What was he thinking? He couldn't bear to see her.

_Ain't it just like one of us to pick up the phone and call after a couple of drinks, __  
__And say: "How you been? I been wonderin' that maybe you've been thinkin' 'bout me." __  
__And somewhere in the conversation, an old familiar invitation always arrives, __  
__An' I may hate myself in the morning, but I'm gonna love you tonight._

Elliot took down another swallow of Jack Daniel's. He picked up and armful of empty beer bottles and threw them into his trash can. He tried to clean up his apartment. The last thing he wanted her to know was that all he had done was drink away his memories of her. Elliot picked up empty bottles from every corner in the room. He couldn't even think of how many brain cells he had killed in the past five months.

A half-hour after the two hung up, Elliot heard a knock on the door. He walked over peered through the peephole. He saw Olivia standing there in a New York Mets' shirt and a pair of loose plaid pants. She had put on some mascara before leaving the house but her hair tied back in a loose ponytail. _God she knew how to get to him. _Elliot thought. Another knock at the door interrupted Elliot's thoughts. He wasn't sure he could handle letting her in. "Elliot, I see your shadow under the door. Let me in." Olivia's voice interrupted his thoughts again.

Elliot reluctantly opened the door. Olivia stood there in front of him. It used to happen frequently, but lately, he hadn't even seen her at work. "Hi." Olivia's voice was low and calm. She tried to hide her discomfort but wasn't doing a good job.

Elliot motioned for her come in. Olivia entered the threshold and walked over to Elliot's couch. She took a sit and Elliot sat on the opposite side of the couch. The silence was unbearable but neither were quite sure what to say.

"Maybe I shouldn't have come." Olivia stood up and turned to leave when Elliot's voice stopped her.

"Liv, why did you come?" Elliot asked quietly from the opposite side of the couch.

"I needed closure. Since things ended, I can't move on. Every time a guy approaches me, I compare him to you and I thought seeing you would help..." Olivia's voice began to get quieter and eventually stopped.

Elliot starred silently at the brunette on his couch. Every time he tried to talk, he couldn't seem to find the words. "Liv... did you ever think we weren't supposed to get over each other?" The words left his mouth before he even though them through.

"Elliot, please don't. I can't handle that right now." Olivia shifted uncomfortably where she stood. "I loved you, more than anyone could ever know but there were way too many complications."

The last words cut Elliot deep. He was stunned where he sat. He knew Olivia and him loved each other but he thought that would help them endure the complications. Clearly, she thought differently and know his mind was even more screwed up than ever.

_Everyone's known someone that they just can't help but want; __  
__And even though we just can't make it work out, well the want-to lingers on. __  
__So once again we wind up in each other's arms, pretending that it's right, __  
__An' I may hate myself in the morning, but I'm gonna love you tonight._

"Elliot, please don't be mad. I didn't mean it like that." Olivia pleaded but Elliot wouldn't look at her.

"Than how did you mean it Liv? Quite frankly, you sound like a selfish asshole." Elliot got up and walked to his fridge. All he needed was a cold beer. He searched and luckily, he found one. He popped open the can and stood waiting for Olivia to answer.

"I meant, I couldn't work out the complications. I couldn't get past them." Olivia sat on the couch and placed her head in her hands. "I wasn't strong enough." _Great, I made her cry, yet I called her the asshole. _Elliot thought silently. He set his beer down and walked over to the couch he took a seat beside Olivia.

"Liv, I'm sorry. Please don't cry. I never wanted to hurt you." Elliot placed his hand on her lower back. He gently rubbed her back. He'd done it so many times before but tonight it felt so new.

"Elliot. I don't want to fight anymore. I was an idiot. I couldn't get over my stupid pride, but now I'm ready to put that behind me." Olivia opened her mouth to continue but was interrupted by Elliot's lips colliding with her own.

Elliot pulled back and began to talk. "Sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I can't trust you Liv. You screwed me up so bad before, what's to say you won't do it again?" The two could almost feel the room drop ten degrees.

"El, you should hate me. I understand. I would hate myself too. But I've spent so much time thinking about how much of a bitch I was and how stupid I was to ever let you go." Olivia pleaded with Elliot. She looked him in the eyes and saw the hurt. His blue eyes looked icy and she felt as though there was nothing she could do.

Olivia stood up and turned in the direction opposite Elliot when she felt a tug on her wrist. She turned around and saw Elliot standing beside her.

_I know it's wrong, but it ain't easy moving on. __  
__So why can't two friends remember the good times once again?_

Elliot leaned in and kissed Olivia. The kiss was awkward and mangled, worse than anyone's first kiss. The two pulled away and laughed awkwardly. Neither could find the words to say to each other.

The only thing they could do was to speak with their bodies. Elliot leaned back in and found Olivia's lips. The kiss was much better and filled with passion. Elliot put one hand on the back of her head in an attempt to deepen the kiss. Instead, he let her hair down and ran his hands through her hair. Of all Olivia's assets, Elliot's favorite was her hair. He'd spent endless hours playing with it in the past. Meanwhile, his other hand was under the back of Olivia's t-shirt working on her bra. As he unhooked it, Olivia pulled away.

"Sorry, sorry." Elliot lifted Olivia's chin so he could look into her brown eyes.

"Are we sure we want to do this?" Olivia asked with concern in her voice.

Elliot paused and pondered this. It felt so right, yet he knew when she was gone in the morning, he'd feel more empty than ever before. He'd dreamed about this moment for months and he wasn't about to miss the opportunity. "Are you sure? I'm sure."

Olivia looked away from Elliot for a few seconds than looked back. "I'm ready when you are." With those five words, their mouths met in a collision and their tongues began to go work. Elliot kissed his way down to Olivia's neck and began to kiss it. He knew how bad this would get to her. His little trick worked because soon enough, Olivia pushed Elliot back onto the couch and took a seat on his lap. She kissed his neck until she found his ear. She began to nibble at it playfully, Elliot grunted in an attempt to contain himself. Olivia pulled back and smiled at Elliot mischievously. "Can't handle it Stabler?"

Elliot smiled back. He'd missed their playful jokes during their most heated moments. "Not even Benson. You better keep trying." Olivia smiled and kissed Elliot on the cheek. It was their unspoken way of telling each other they couldn't bare to wait anymore. Elliot took the cue and lifted his shirt over his head and removed Olivia's t-shirt the same way. Olivia moaned in pleasure as Elliot planted little butterfly kisses on both her breasts and than began to pull off her pajama pants. She followed his lead and pulled down his almost matching pajama pants. The two pulled apart for a few seconds and sat there in their underwear. Elliot couldn't help but notice Olivia's underwear. They were his favorite and she knew it. Now, he couldn't help but wonder if she'd secretly hoped this would happen.

Elliot ignored this little sign and continued to work as he removed his boxers and pulled down Olivia's thong. He threw them onto the floor and climbed on top of Olivia who was laying back on the couch. He smiled and whispered into her ear, "You ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." Elliot smiled and quickly entered Olivia. Like this entire night, it had happened many times but it all felt so new. Elliot began to pump in and out as though it was his first time. Within seconds, Olivia was moaning wildly into Elliot's ear who was grunting in unison. The two reached a mutual climax and Elliot stood up. He extended his hand to Olivia who stood beside him. Elliot scooped her into his arms and carried her into his bedroom.

_Tomorrow when I wake up, I'll be feeling a little guilty, an' a little sad, __  
__Thinkin' how it used to be before everything went bad. __  
__An' I guess that's what it is, in lonely late night calls like this, that we try to find; __  
__An' I may hate myself in the morning, but I'm gonna love you tonight._

When Elliot reached his bedroom he placed Olivia carefully on the bed and laid beside her. The two sat in silence for a few minutes and reflected upon what had just happened. It took a few minutes to process before either could speak. No words would come to mind.

Elliot decided to start the conversation. "So... where are we now?" Elliot held his breath while he waited for Olivia to answer.

"Wherever you want us to be." Olivia bit her lip after saying that. She had no clue where they were.

"That's not fair, you know where I want us to be." Elliot sighed heavily. He felt as though all hope had been blown away for one night of pleasure.

"I want to be there too. Elliot, I want it all. Everything I've never had. But most of all, I want you." Olivia rolled towards Elliot and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Liv, you have to be sure. This is so much more than a relationship for me. I don't think I could stand to pick up the pieces again. Are you sure?" Elliot rolled and faced Olivia. He searched her chocolate eyes but couldn't find anything starring back at him.

"Elliot... I can't apologize enough times. I've screwed up so bad but it's not going to happen again. I love you too much to lose you again." Olivia smiled quickly and waited for Elliot's face to show a reaction.

Elliot began to chuckle and leaned in to kiss the chocolate eyed detective. After the two pulled away Elliot spoke again. "I'm never letting you get away from me again. I love you." The two kissed again and had a repeat of the night's events, without any crying or name calling.


End file.
